Saying I’m a sex writer has become a bit of a pickup line I use. What can I say? It really intrigues people when I tell them on a first date that I spend my day writing about vibrators and anal sex. But I can’t take all the credit all the time: Some of the best sex tips I’ve ever learned have come from our editors, from my favorite app for ethical porn for women, and from the powers of scheduling sex.
Applicable for partner sex, masturbating, sexting, and everything in between:
1. Read up on the erogenous zones: inner thighs, ears, neck, small of the back, the toes, etc.
2. Don’t yuck anyone’s yum: You might be surprised when a partner tells you a kink or fantasy, but talk it out, think about it, and engage if you feel comfortable. It might just become yours too!
3. Treat yourself to some fancy lube (we love this one—and if you feel so inclined, grab our favorite vibrator while you’re at it)
4. Buy yourself some lingerie that you love to feel sexy and confident
5. Read Literotica for sexy stories—they have every kind you can imagine and more
6. Make a sexy song playlist with your partner to get in the mood every time
7. If you’re a parent or have roommates, lock the door!
8. Take sexy pics just to feel good about yourself
9. Lay a towel down to make clean-up and post-sex much easier
10. Fill your social media with accounts/images/videos you find hot (anyone who follows Harry Styles on Instagram knows that it doesn’t have to be porn to be sexy!)
11. Add a pillow under your hips. Small change, big difference!
12. Don’t panic if shower sex wasn’t as sexy as it looks in movies. Try post-shower sex instead!
13. Watch a non-sexual show or movie to get you in the mood
14. Read a steamy novel before a date or instead of bingeing Netflix during your solo night in
15. Focus on consistent pleasure over a climax (and a climax will come!)
16. Explore new kinks and fetishes
17. Have sex on your period—seriously.
18. Focus on the foreplay
19. Explore audio erotica to get in the mood—this is a favorite app amongst our editors!
With A Partner
20. Talk about what you like with a partner before sex
21. Try a move you’ve seen in a movie or a show you’ve watched together
22. Touch yourself during sex—hot for them, feels amazing for you!
23. Talk about your highlight from a nighttime session the next morning
24. Send quick, dirty texts throughout the day to help with foreplay and to get you right in the mood if you only have time for a quickie
25. If you’re in a long-term relationship, make out like teenagers to bring you back to all those angsty years
26. Make a code word for sex, i.e. “I’m excited to go home and make our own cocktails” might mean “Take me home and ravage me ASAP”
27. Try mutual masturbation
28. Make eye contact during sex when you can
29. Don’t discount a quickie—sometimes, it’s more about the physical connection than mind-blowing sex
30. Speak up if something hurts, and speak up if something feels amazing
31. Start foreplay out of the bedroom: a kiss at dinner, a sexy text during the workday
32. What happens after sex is important too—check in with yourself and/or your partner, identify how your body feels, go through proper hygiene, etc.
33. Don’t be afraid to initiate
34. Have sex in front of a mirror
35. Try a nipple massage! Hint: You can actually have an orgasm through nipple-play alone
36. Send your partner examples of what you want them to do in the bedroom
37. Communicate what feels good—but also ask your partner what is feeling good for them!
38. Try a new oral sex position
39. Try ribbed condoms
40. Focus on non-sexual touch to create intimacy outside of the bedroom (which will cause even more intimacy during sex too!)
41. Make a point to plug in and charge your vibe in the morning—it ensures you have it fully charged that night and is also a lil’ sexy reminder to yourself throughout the day that you’re able to pleasure yourself that night
42. Try masturbating at different times of the day: on your lunch break, right after work, before the gym, after the gym, etc.
43. If your toy is waterproof, run it under hot or cold water before using it
44. Try stimulating multiple areas at once: Using a vibrator on your clitoris while fingers are inside you, stimulating the vagina and the anus at the same time, combining touching an erogenous zone with clitoral stimulation, etc.
45. Take yourself on a date—you’ll be surprised how sexy you’ll feel after spending some time with yourself
46. Try a new masturbating position: doggy style, cowgirl, and a hip-bridge are good places to start
47. Buy this vibrator and thank us later!
48. Close the windows and the blinds, maybe turn on some music or a show, and get really vocal.
49. If you’re trying to have a clitoral orgasm, focus your attention on different parts of the clitoris to see which feels better. Try placing your vibrator vertically and horizontally, pinch it with two fingers and rub them together, or try making circles and up-and-down motions.
50. Schedule it: Make time in your day to feel good, even if it’s just for you!